So today I met with a psychiatrist. After my appointment I called my boyfriend and he joked about the fact that the doctor must not have had me committed because I'm on the phone with him....ha...ha. Anyway, I have recently started counseling to try to get some insight into my binge eating problem and also because I have just been having a hard time in general lately with a newer high-stress job (I'm a foster care worker), a high stress school program, and the whole plight of my weight loss journey. At first I thought that going to get some help would mean that I am failing somehow because I want to be a therapist myself one day and have been working on it for years to get there. Then I realized how ridiculous my thoughts were and that people get therapy for all kinds of reason and I'm not going to be able to progress if I can't gain insight into my own behaviors. I was given a prescription for an anti-depressant, which has a stigma attached to it but at this point I was willing to try anything to help me to "get it together". After talking with my boyfriend, I have decided to wait one month before taking any pills to try and give diet and exercise (and sleep) my best shot and then see how I feel. So today begins a month long experiment. I am going to try to treat my own depression by beginning to exercise daily (something that I haven't done in about a year) and stick to a healthy diet (I'm currently on a Nutrisystem program to try to help with portion control and to retrain my brain). I'm still going to go to counseling once a week and do some cognitive behavioral therapy that focuses on my binge eating habit but I'm just not comfortable with taking a drug to try to feel happy unless it is truly a last resort.
So here's to today, it's kind of an official start date for my weight loss journey that I know will take some time. I'm hoping to start blogging at least every other day to document this journey and will start making these post more interesting.
Today's weight: 287.5 lbs.
Question to Readers : Do you think that becoming healthy leads to becoming happy or do you think that you need to become happy in order to get the motivation to get healthy? What are your thoughts?
Friday, November 11, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
No Sugar Tonite!
Hello, my name is Jessica and I am a food addict. *Hi Jessica* I am here today because I found myself in an closet last night with white powder surrounding my upper and lower lip and what appeared to be chocolate sauce in my hair and all over the front of my shirt. Okay, okay, so this did not actually happen, BUT if this scenario did happen I would not be too surprised as crazy as it all sounds. The truth of the matter is, I have recently discovered that I am a true addict like many other people out there an I am on a mission to overcome this. So here I go.
The point of this blog is to document my weight loss/health journey as well as talking about my everyday experiences along the way with some added jokes to keep it interesting ;) I know that a lot of people write weight loss blogs or diet blogs etc.so I would like to add something to the blog world by writing about my own real struggles and successes from the very beginning of the process, while making it a fun read at the same time. I want to document my own thoughts and experiences in hopes of giving others a virtual "heads up", so that maybe my sharing can actually give others an advantage in their weight loss by informing them about things that have worked for me and things that didn't. I know that I always appreciate ways to save time, so maybe my blog can act as a nice tool for others. Of course some of the reasoning for my blog is going to be for completely self serving purposes because I like the idea of having an ongoing documented journal of my progress.
Until recently, I have sort of been "in the closet" about my binge eating habits and lifelong struggle with my weight. I'm changing all of this and have decided to write about it publiclyso the whole world can no how nuts I am so that I can work towards reaching my own goals and gain a healthy, happy life and maybe even inspire/motivate others to do the same along the way.
So there you have it. My first entry stating the purpose of this blog and giving a glimpse of the things I will be writing about. This is truly a snippet of what's to come :)
FUN FACTS:
Since this is primarily a weight loss blog, I figure I should write some typical beginning "stats" about where I am in the beginning of my weight loss quest. Also, these are answers to some of the questions that I have for people when I'm reading their weight loss/health blogs so I figured I would put them up here for this first entry.
I am 28 years old. I am 5'1 and currently weigh 285 lbs. (My highest weight ever was 295, which occurred about 3 months ago after adjusting to my desk job). I have been overweight since about the age of 7 or 8. I was the only "fat girl" in elementary school who could do gymnastics and this really seemed to amaze my peers. My weight has fluctuated between about 240 to 270 ish throughout my 20's. I have a lot of hang ups and self conscious thoughts that have really held me back in a million different ways throughout my life (I'm sure any other overweight person reading this knows exactly what I'm talking about). Before this "Fun Facts" paragraph starts sounding too much like a sad Oprah or Biggest Loser episode, I will change the tone a bit and tell you that I have lost some weight in the past. About 2 years ago I lost 30 pounds by attempting to eat healthy (I still had the bingeing issue) and exercising hard core. In fact I was able run a whole friggin mile! This was something that I had never been able to do before even as a child. I was on top of the world and felt like I could truly lose enough weight to reach a place where I was considered to be healthy and normal for once. I did however gain all this weight back and then a little extra (which I never thought was possible, I am a short girl and I'm not sure how much more weight these bones can handle!)
Anyway, at this point in my life this is truly "the time" for me and I know I'm not about to let anything else get in the way of my weight loss goal. I am going to accomplish my goals in completely natural ways and although this will mean changing my eating habits and trading in things like french fries for a side of green veggies, I know that you cannot completely give up the foods you love so the title "No Sugar Tonite" is a somewhat inside joke to myself, which can also apply to so many other things related to my weight loss journey that I will embellish on in future entries :)
The point of this blog is to document my weight loss/health journey as well as talking about my everyday experiences along the way with some added jokes to keep it interesting ;) I know that a lot of people write weight loss blogs or diet blogs etc.so I would like to add something to the blog world by writing about my own real struggles and successes from the very beginning of the process, while making it a fun read at the same time. I want to document my own thoughts and experiences in hopes of giving others a virtual "heads up", so that maybe my sharing can actually give others an advantage in their weight loss by informing them about things that have worked for me and things that didn't. I know that I always appreciate ways to save time, so maybe my blog can act as a nice tool for others. Of course some of the reasoning for my blog is going to be for completely self serving purposes because I like the idea of having an ongoing documented journal of my progress.
Until recently, I have sort of been "in the closet" about my binge eating habits and lifelong struggle with my weight. I'm changing all of this and have decided to write about it publicly
So there you have it. My first entry stating the purpose of this blog and giving a glimpse of the things I will be writing about. This is truly a snippet of what's to come :)
FUN FACTS:
Since this is primarily a weight loss blog, I figure I should write some typical beginning "stats" about where I am in the beginning of my weight loss quest. Also, these are answers to some of the questions that I have for people when I'm reading their weight loss/health blogs so I figured I would put them up here for this first entry.
I am 28 years old. I am 5'1 and currently weigh 285 lbs. (My highest weight ever was 295, which occurred about 3 months ago after adjusting to my desk job). I have been overweight since about the age of 7 or 8. I was the only "fat girl" in elementary school who could do gymnastics and this really seemed to amaze my peers. My weight has fluctuated between about 240 to 270 ish throughout my 20's. I have a lot of hang ups and self conscious thoughts that have really held me back in a million different ways throughout my life (I'm sure any other overweight person reading this knows exactly what I'm talking about). Before this "Fun Facts" paragraph starts sounding too much like a sad Oprah or Biggest Loser episode, I will change the tone a bit and tell you that I have lost some weight in the past. About 2 years ago I lost 30 pounds by attempting to eat healthy (I still had the bingeing issue) and exercising hard core. In fact I was able run a whole friggin mile! This was something that I had never been able to do before even as a child. I was on top of the world and felt like I could truly lose enough weight to reach a place where I was considered to be healthy and normal for once. I did however gain all this weight back and then a little extra (which I never thought was possible, I am a short girl and I'm not sure how much more weight these bones can handle!)
Anyway, at this point in my life this is truly "the time" for me and I know I'm not about to let anything else get in the way of my weight loss goal. I am going to accomplish my goals in completely natural ways and although this will mean changing my eating habits and trading in things like french fries for a side of green veggies, I know that you cannot completely give up the foods you love so the title "No Sugar Tonite" is a somewhat inside joke to myself, which can also apply to so many other things related to my weight loss journey that I will embellish on in future entries :)
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